


Heart & Mind

by MaeveElemora



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Idiots in Love, Pining, dream fic, this is a gift for Hanan my WIFE, this is... technically pre-relationship?? but they have done the do in Vera's canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:27:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29779602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaeveElemora/pseuds/MaeveElemora
Summary: He tries not to let himself think about it in the days that follow. Even when she comes back around again and he's pulling her into a shack a ways off from camp for a night in his arms. He pushes her out of his thoughts during the day, tries not to look too closely at how she's what's in his mind's eye as he's trying to relax for the night.He's not Santiago, he doesn't just chase a dream like it's all that's worth doing. But that doesn't mean his dreams don't chasehim.--a rushed drabble that i didn't proofread at *checks clock* 9am after not sleeping all night?? all to spoil my wife with a fic of her husband???? yeah sounds like me tbh.
Relationships: Saul Bright/V
Comments: 3
Kudos: 19





	Heart & Mind

**Author's Note:**

> not one of my usual ships, i know! this is a gift piece for my bb hanan <3333 
> 
> aldcaldos.tumblr.com <333

A long time ago Saul had been given the advice to always trust his dreams. It'd been Santiago who told him, one of the man's fanciful bullshit lines. Something about the heart and mind speaking as one. 

But just like with so many other parts of his life, he's not Santiago. Never wants to be, never will be. He lives and leads by what he _knows_ to be best, not by what his heart wants to bask in. The family needs a clear head. A strong hand. And that's what he will _be_ for them.

That mindset doesn't stop the dreams from coming, though.

The first one hits him out of nowhere. In all honesty, he should have seen it coming. She consumes so much of his thoughts these days. More and more he's finding himself having to push away the memory of pressing her against that boulder, to shake off the ghost of how her fingers felt pulling at his hair, while he's trying to work. But he wakes up out of breath nonetheless, pulse hammering in his ears as the flashes of that black snake winding its way around his heart are still fresh enough in his mind that he _swears_ he can feel it.

He tries not to let himself think about it in the days that follow. Even when she comes back around again and he's pulling her into a shack a ways off from camp for a night in his arms. He pushes her out of his thoughts during the day, tries not to look too closely at how she's what's in his mind's eye as he's trying to relax for the night.

He's not Santiago, he doesn't just chase a dream like it's all that's worth doing. But that doesn't mean his dreams don't chase _him_.

They hunt him down with what feels like more and more ferocity each time. It's always the same premise, too. A black snake, _her_ snake, moving up between his ribs and coiling itself around his heart. It doesn't squeeze, he doesn't think it's actually out to hurt him. It just claims its new home in his chest as his mind jumps between memories of her. Under him, on top of him, _marking_ him.

But one night it changes. And it scares him half to death when it does because this time the snake uncoils itself. He tries to block its movements with his hands, tries to keep it from slipping out from between his ribs, but it makes its way out despite his efforts. When he sees it land in the desert sand below him and take off, he feels compelled to chase after it.

He's so honed in on watching it, so desperate to get it back where it belongs, that he doesn't spot Vera. Not until he's witnessing the snake climb its way up her leg, and suddenly the snake can't hold his attention any longer. He looks at her, at the way the desert wind pushes her hair back from her face, and _crumbles_. Falls to his knees before her, every fiber of his being screaming out for her.

The urge to tell her, to make her understand what he feels for her, hits him like a tidal wave. His hand is steadier than he would have expected it to be when it comes up to the center of his chest. It _hurts_ when his fingers dig in, but the pain is nothing compared to the overwhelming _need_ he feels to make her _understand_.

He takes his eyes off of her face only when he manages to pull his heart free from his chest. He looks down as he holds it, still beating strongly, in both his hands. He's surprised there's not an imprint of her snake's pattern given how many nights it's already spent wrapping itself around the organ.

Her eyes are on it as he lifts his hands out towards her. She looks back up to meet his eyes and he swears he can see tears gathering there, no doubt mirroring his own.

"Take it," he tells her. "It's yours."

She crouches down in the sand on one knee, not even a foot away from him. She doesn't reach out to take what he offers. She just looks down at his hands once again, then back up to his face.

"From the moment I met you," he admits to her. "It's yours."

"-aul?"

The voice is distant, and he realizes a second too late that focusing on it is a mistake. He's hazy and disoriented as all hell as he instinctually sits up in bed when something touches his shoulder. He blinks enough to finally focus his eyes and finds Panam standing beside his bed, her hand already moving back to rest on her hip.

"Jesus, it's about time," she says with a laugh. "Rise and shine, we have shit to take care of."

She leaves him to shake off the sleep at that, something he's grateful for. She knows him well enough to know that trying to get him talking before his morning coffee is a bad fucking idea.

Saul pulls his legs over the side of the bed to plant both feet on the floor. He props his elbows on his knees and drops his head in his hands, his palms digging into his eyes. Like maybe if he presses hard enough he can get Vera's face out of his mind.

_You have to trust your dreams, boy. That's when the heart and mind speak as one._

"Fuck," Saul growls into the empty room, not sure if he's cursing Santiago or the woman with his beating heart in her hands.

**Author's Note:**

> as always, comments, requests, and feedback are always welcome!! <3
> 
> for reference! the heart in hands thing is my FAVORITE LOVE SCENE OF ALL TIME its from altered carbon, here's a timestamped clip of it: https://youtu.be/AIVtE1YhdCY?t=69


End file.
